Singapore LGBT allies

Singapore LGBT allies refers to heterosexual and/or cisgender friends of Singapore's LGBTQIA+ community who have been publicly supportive of LGBT equality.

An "ally" is a person who:
 * has a genuine, strong concern for the well-being of LGBT people
 * supports and accepts LGBT people, and advocates for equal rights and fair treatment
 * confronts challenges that LGBT people experience and believes that they face the following problems in society:
 * heterosexism — the assumption that everyone is or should be straight
 * biprejudice — harmful, preconceived ideas about bisexual people
 * transprejudice — harmful, preconceived ideas about transgender people
 * heterosexual privilege — the everyday privileges straight people have in society, for example, the ability to display attraction or affection, like holding hands, towards the opposite gender in public without fear of judgement or even violence

=Historical=

Yap Kim Hao

 * Main article: Yap Kim Hao
 * See also: Rev. Yap Kim Hao's involvement in LGBT activism

Rev. Dr. Yap Kim Hao (1929 - 2017) served as a Methodist pastor in Malaysia and Singapore before being consecrated the first Asian Bishop of the Methodist Church in Malaysia and Singapore from 1968 to 1973. He was elected as the General Secretary of the Christian Conference of Asia between 1973 and 1985 and was directly involved in social justice issues, ministering to the marginalised and oppressed in the region.

In 1988, he accepted an invitation to be Visiting Professor of World Christianity, Perkins School of Theology, Southern Methodist University, Dallas, Texas, USA. He also taught in summer school at the Vancouver School of Theology, Canada in 1990.

Rev. Yap was on the Council of the Inter-Religious Organisation (IRO) in Singapore and was committed to the promotion of inter-faith dialogue and understanding. He served as the Pastoral Advisor of the Free Community Church, which counts many LGBT Christians in its congregation.



=Contemporary=

Siew Kum Hong

 * Main article: Siew Kum Hong

Siew Kum Hong is a Singaporean lawyer who spent the first 5 years of his career in private practice specialising in technology matters, first in a big firm and then in his own boutique practice. He has been in-house ever since.

He joined Airbnb, Asia-Pacific in October 2012, and was with Yahoo! for 5.5 years before that.

Siew was a Nominated Member of Parliament during the term of the 11th Parliament from 18 January 2007 to 17 July 2009, together with Gautam Banerjee, Cham Hui Fong, Edwin Khew Teck Fook, Loo Choon Yong, Kalyani K. Mehta, Eunice Elizabeth Olsen, Jessie Phua née Wong Wai Chan and Thio Li-ann. It was during his stint as an NMP that he presented the Parliamentary petition to repeal Section 377A of the Penal Code and for which he is best remembered.

Siew was also a founding member and past Vice-President of MARUAH, a Singapore human rights NGO. He was AWARE's legal advisor for the annual general meeting at Suntec City during the AWARE saga in 2009. 

Khoo Hoon Eng

 * Main article: Khoo Hoon Eng
 * See also: Khoo Hoon Eng: LGBT allyship

Associate Professor Khoo Hoon Eng received her BA in Biochemistry at Smith College, PhD at St Mary’s Medical School, London and a Postgraduate Diploma in Medical Education at the University of Dundee. She taught at the Faculty of Medicine, National University of Malaysia for 10 years before joining the Faculty of Medicine (now Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine) at NUS in 1988. Between 1997 and 2003, she was Vice-Dean in the Faculty of Medicine.

During a leave of absence from NUS, she worked for three years (2007-2010) as the Provost and Acting Vice-Chancellor of a new liberal arts institution – the Asian University for Women in Chittagong, Bangladesh. She joined Yale-NUS College in October 2011 as Director in the Office of the Executive Vice President (Academic Affairs), before moving on to her appointment as Director of Special Projects in the Office of the President, with responsibilities in faculty hiring, campus design and curriculum planning. 

Kirsten Han

 * Main article: Kirsten Han
 * See also: Kirsten Han: LGBT allyship

Kirsten Han is a freelance journalist and Editor-in-Chief of New Naratif, a platform for Southeast Asian journalism, research, art and community-building. She also curates We, The Citizens, a weekly email newsletter covering Singaporean politics, social justice and civil society. Originally trained in film and video production, Han got her introduction to journalism while working as an assistant producer on documentary projects. She began freelancing, mostly in print and online journalism, in 2012. Although largely focused on her hometown of Singapore, she has also covered stories from countries like Greece, Scotland and Malaysia.

Han has covered a wide range of topics — from general news to business, and even architecture but tends to gravitate towards the themes of social justice, civil movements, human rights and democracy. Her features, reports, and op-eds have appeared in The Guardian, The New York Times, The Washington Post and Asia Times. In 2019, her essay The Silhouette of Oppression was published by Epigram Books.

Outside of work, she is a founding member of We Believe in Second Chances, a group advocating for the abolishment of the death penalty. As part of the campaign, she tells the stories of death row inmates and their families, and also volunteers her time as a case worker to work with the families of inmates.

In 2016, she was named the Advocate of the Year at the Singapore Advocacy Awards, both for her work as a journalist as well as her role in the anti-death penalty campaign. She was also named a Champion of Gender Justice and Equality at the AWARE Awards that year. In 2018, she received an Honourable Mention for the World Justice Project’s Anthony Lewis Prize for Exceptional Rule of Law Journalism. In 2019, she won a Human Rights Press Award for her commentaries on “fake news” and freedom of expression.

Han is a staunch ally of the LGBT community and has written numerous articles advocating equal rights for LGBT Singaporeans. In honour of her allyship, she was invited to give a speech as one of the Community Voices during Pink Dot 2017.

Constance Singam

 * Main article: Constance Singam
 * See also: Constance Singam: LGBT allyship



Tommy Koh

 * Main article: Tommy Koh
 * See also: Tommy Koh's views on homosexuality

Tommy Koh is an international lawyer, professor and diplomat. He was also a former ambassador for Singapore to the United Nations.

Braema Mathi

 * Main article: Braema Mathi
 * See also: Braema Mathi: LGBT allyship

Andrew Loh

 * Main article: Andrew Loh
 * See also: Andrew Loh: LGBT allyship

Akesh Abhilash

 * Akesh Abhilash is a practicing lawyer at Harry Elias Partnership LLP specialising in arbitration and dispute resolution. He is a straight ally who has been a volunteer with Pink Dot for many years, and has written articles rebutting anti-LGBT activists in Singapore. His most prominent published articles include an ethics essay   as well as responses to letters from prominent anti-LGBT leader Lawrence Khong in 2014 and 2015. He also touched on LGBT issues in an article about discrimination in Singapore.
 * In honour of his allyship, Akesh was invited to give a speech as one of the community voices at Pink Dot 2017.

Martin Piper

 * Main article: Martin Piper

Martin Piper is a prominent member of the Progress Singapore Party (PSP). He was featured in the party’s Hari Raya Puasa 2020 music video and is a consistent presence in the party’s walkabouts. Unlike members from most other opposition parties, he does not shy away from being a publicly vocal proponent for LGBT equality. While other opposition politicians like Pritam Singh of the Workers' Party skirt around issues such as the repeal of Section 377A, Piper has gone so far as to appeal to the High Commissioner of Canada to Singapore to hinge trade deals on Singapore’s willingness to eradicate the law which bans sex between male adults. Piper has also stood up for the rights of same-sex couples to adopt children, and is one of the administrators of the pro-LGBT rights Facebook page “Real Singaporeans defending the family and shared values” @truesingaporelove.

Piper is considered a prime choice to represent the PSP in the 2020 General Election, given his candour, outspokenness, and stellar career track record – he is the QA Head for Wealth and Private Banking at Standard Chartered Bank. With the Singapore Democratic Party and the Reform Party being the only opposition parties to date which have spoken up for LGBT rights in Singapore, it will be interesting to see how Piper can steer things forward if elected into parliament. 

Darius Cheung

 * Main article: Darius Cheung
 * See also: Darius Cheung: LGBT allyship

Darius Cheung is the co-founder of the property marketing company 99.co. Prior to founding 99.co, Cheung was the Director of Consumer Mobile Technology at McAfee, which acquired tenCube, a Singapore-based mobile security company also founded by Cheung and which he served as CEO for 5 years. Another company he co-founded was BillPin.

At tenCube, he grew the startup into a team of 26 people in 2 locations over 5 years, raised funds in 2 rounds of financing, created award-winning mobile security product WaveSecure and led the startup to profitability. For his role in tenCube and and the local startup community, he was selected as one of BusinessWeek’s Best Young Entrepreneurs in Asia and was a recipient of the Singapore Youth Award.

He is also an angel investor and serves on the steering committee for Action Community for Entrepreneurship (ACE).

Sam Ho

 * Main article: Sam Ho

Walter Theseira

 * Main article: Walter Theseira
 * See also: Walter Theseira: LGBT allyship

Anthea Ong

 * Main article: Anthea Ong
 * See also: Anthea Ong: LGBT allyship

Jasmine Ng

 * Main article: Jasmine Ng

=How allies can better support the LGBT community=

Educating oneself about LGBT issues
Being supportive of one's LGBT family members, friends and colleagues means developing a true comprehension of how the world views and treats them. One needs to be willing and open-minded to truly listen to friends' personal stories and to ask questions respectfully. If someone comes out to them, allies should let them set the tone for the conversation. If the friend is bringing it up in a casual way, they should respond in kind. If the friend is being more serious, allies should make it clear that they support the person by displaying understanding and empathy, even if it is sometimes hard to relate to LGBT people's narratives because they face struggles that straight people may not have experienced. Allies should also endeavour to learn about LGBT history, terminology (such as the difference between sex and gender, the wide spectrum of sexualities including what sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, queer, intersex, questioning, cisgender, transgender, transitioning, etc., mean) and the challenges that the community still faces today. Friends may be happy to answer one's questions but they are not walking LGBT encyclopaedias so the Internet is an immensely helpful resource. It is insensitive to expect LGBT people to relive their trauma, for example their coming out experience, or validate their existence for an ally's own understanding. LGBT individuals may well have been persecuted by strangers, governments and even loved ones and it may have taken great courage for them to come out. Allies should not take it for granted that just because they confided in them, LGBT friends want them to share their story with other people. It is up to them to tell their own story. Doing online research can shift some of the emotional burden off of the people in an ally's life who have another identity that the ally is privileged in relation to. It is alright to ask questions, but allies should rely on their gut feeling to ensure that they are not offensive or cumbersome. If they are having trouble understanding certain topics like the importance of using appropriate gender pronouns, they should find resources that will help them navigate those concepts. This can be achieved by reading books and other publications, listening to podcasts and visiting businesses or websites run by people from the community. Allies can get a sense of what it is like to live in the shoes of LGBT people by immersing themselves in their world.

Checking one's privilege
Most Singaporeans (including LGBT ones) have some type of privilege whether it be racial, class, educational, being cisgender, able-bodied or straight. Being privileged does not mean that one has not had one's fair share of struggles in life. It just signifies that there are some things one will not ever have to think or worry about just because of the way one was born. Simply existing as a cisgender person and not facing discrimination for one's gender or gender expression at work is a privilege that most people take for granted and do not even realise they have. Many transgender people experience workplace discrimination, have lost their job due to bias and are even denied the chance to qualify for one as early as at the job interview stage. Understanding one's own privileges can help one empathise with marginalised or oppressed groups. Recognising one's unfair advantages over others can lead to feelings of discomfort, anger, shame or guilt but allies should not dwell on those emotions and instead channel the energy in a positive way. They must be aware that they are not responsible for building the loaded system but have the obligation to take advantage of their privilege to help the marginalised by ending the structures that gave them that privilege.

Being intersectional
The wonderful thing about being an ally for one group of people is that it can open one's eyes to becoming an ally for everyone. People do not fit into just one box. Intersectionality is a term used to describe all the different identities or social categorisations a person has. If someone who identifies as LGBT is also a racial minority or lives with a disability, that individual may be discriminated against because of each of these identities. So, when allies stand up for one marginalised group, they are standing up for all of them. To be an effective ally, one has to be intersectional, which means the ally cannot just fight for the rights of LGBT people. One has to be fighting for equality for everyone, regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.

Abandoning assumptions
One should not assume that all one's friends, co-workers, and even housemates are straight, nor should one assume someone's gender or pronouns. LGBT people do not look any particular way and someone's current or previous partner(s) does not define his/her sexuality because bisexuals, pansexuals, nonbinary, agender and other queer people exist. Individuals close to an ally could be looking for support and not making assumptions will give them the space they need to be their authentic self and open up to the ally in their own time.

Thinking of "ally" as an action rather than a label
It is easy to call oneself an ally but the label alone is not enough because oppression does not take breaks. To be an effective ally one needs to be willing to be consistent in one's support of LGBT rights, defend LGBT people against discrimination and take care of the LGBT individuals in their lives including doing little things like accompanying a loved ones to their first Pride parade or hanging up a rainbow flag. These carry more weight than one may realise and actions speak louder than words. Anti-LGBT comments and jokes are harmful. Allies should let their friends, family and co-workers know that as allies they find them offensive. It takes all members of society to make true acceptance and respect happen and one's open and consistent support will hopefully lead as an example to others.

Confronting one's own prejudices and unconscious bias
Allies often find that they need to challenge any biases, stereotypes, and assumptions they did not realise they had. They should think about the jokes they make, the pronouns they use and if they wrongly assume someone's partner is of a particular sex or gender just because of the way they look and act. LGBT prejudices can be subtle and transphobia and biphobia exist even within the LGBT community. Being better allies means being open to the idea of being wrong sometimes and being willing to work on it.

Knowing the importance of respectful and inclusive language
People form human connections through language. The majority respect when others changes their nickname, so accommodating LGBT people’s names and pronouns is no different. These are an important part of their identity as pronouns, like “I,” “we,” “she,” “hers,” form an important part of daily English language and are a way of identifying or referring to oneself and others. For people who do not identify as male or female, there are many other pronouns to describe their gender, such as the gender-neutral pronoun “they” or “zie.” People's gender can be communicated via the use of pronouns, so calling them by the wrong pronouns mistakes their gender. Therefore, it is important to respect names and pronouns by using them consistently as it validates their identity. It is imperative to remember that even if others look cisgender or appear externally male or female, it does not mean one can assume their pronouns. If allies are unsure of others' pronouns or labels, they should show respect and sensitivity by asking how others identify and then using those identifiers. They can reciprocate by introducing themselves using their pronouns to let others know their pronoun preference because using appropriate pronouns creates safer and more inclusive spaces. It allows LGBT people to be themselves knowing that others are going to respect their identity. Allies should also try to integrate inclusive language into their regular conversations by using gender neutral terms such as "partner" instead of "husband" or "wife" and keeping an eye on any unintentionally offensive language they may use everyday.

Taking online activism into real world scenarios
Social media is a wonderful tool for building community, educating others, and uniting marginalised groups without support systems. However, it also makes it easy for allies to speak on behalf of the LGBT community, despite not having the same struggles. To experience the challenges which LGBT people face first hand, allies need to venture into the real world, get involved and actively show their support by finding local organisations to volunteer their time with and to donate to. Via doing this, allies often subject themselves to the same vitriol and homo/transphobia which LGBT individuals face on a daily basis and are thus in a better position to feel empathy and understanding.

Speaking up for the underrepresented
The best way to encourage allyship is to simply start a conversation. If allies hear or see something that is damaging towards the LGBTQ community, they should gently point out the problem and use it as a teachable moment. People who hold positions of privilege are needed to start the conversation, otherwise marginalised communities, whose voices are constantly shut down, do not get heard. Doing this as someone with privilege instead of forcing folk without privilege to do so is an important act of allyship.

Four ways that allies can advocate for the LGBT community are to:
 * correct people if they misgender someone, even if that someone is not in the room.
 * speak up when a person uses slurs or insensitive and racially-charged language.
 * promote diversity in the workplace; update their email signature to include pronouns.
 * show their support by wearing a Pride pin or posting a flag.

Creating a supportive work culture
One way of supporting LGBT employees to come out in the workplace and creating a supportive working culture is by becoming a straight ally at work. Good allies recognise that LGBT people can perform better if they can be themselves and straight allies use their role within an organisation to create a culture where this can happen. Allies can speak out about why they are committed to equality, be mentors for LGBT colleagues, ask their managers about what they are doing to make their team or work environment more LGBT-friendly, ask LGBT colleagues and friends for advice and not be afraid of saying the wrong thing, help colleagues become straight allies too by coaching them on how they can make a difference, talk openly about their LGBT friends and family at work, challenge any homophobic comments or banter firmly and immediately, be clear that they will support colleagues who want to come out, explain why LGBT equality is important to them in team meetings, talk to LGBT friends and colleagues about what challenges they face at work, make their support for LGBT equality public, wear their badge with pride, support any LGBT staff network and attend events like Pink Dot.

Following the lead of LGBT peers
While allies may want to immediately defend their LGBT peers if they are being attacked, they should make sure they do not overshadow or occupy queer people's right to speak up for themselves, a phenomenon known as performative allyship. It is not advisable to consistently prove themselves as allies as a way of feeling accepted by the LGBT community. Examples of this are insinuating photos of LGBT people into their social media accounts, trying to guess out loud how someone identifies or babbling on about what a great ally they are instead of letting their actions speak for themselves. Allies must realise that as outsiders, they have certain boundaries. They should remember to use their privilege to benefit the community and not their ego. Allies should have influence over decisions proportionate to how they are affected by them. Instead of assuming a role which LGBT leaders may not need them in, it is better that they ask the leaders how they can be supported and how the leaders would like them to get involved. They should ensure that it is the people with less privilege who have leadership positions and follow their direction. Ultimately, it is about taking small steps together towards achieving the greater goal of equality.

Providing financial support
Organising LGBT rallies, events and projects like Pink Dot, IndigNation and web series like Getaway, maintaining safe spaces and amenities for LGBT people like The T Project, The Greenhouse or Oogachaga and fighting for LGBT rights in court like the Section 377A constitutional challenges requires a great deal of money. Allies can donate to these worthwhile causes if they have the means to do so.

Acknowledging mistakes, apologising and asking for guidance
When allies accidentally assume someone's label, or have a conversation about an individual who is transgender or nonbinary and unintentionally use the wrong pronoun, they should apologise and correct themselves with something along the lines of: "I’m sorry, that wasn’t the word I meant to use. I’m trying to be a better ally and learn the right terminology, but I’m still working on it. If you hear me misuse something, I’d really appreciate if you could let me know." Likely, the person whom the ally is talking to will know that this process of unlearning is new to the ally and will appreciate the ally's honesty and effort. Allyship is actually more about the mistakes than the things that allies do right. It is about how they deal with those mistakes and move forward. They should let LGBT people know from the start that they are open to guidance and feedback. The more they open up, the easier it will be to learn and communicate effectively. If they commit a gaffe, they should try not to indulge in negative feelings. Making mistakes does not make them terrible people but is merely an indication that they have got some learning to do. The point is not to be perfect but for everyone to be free to express themselves. They should avoid making a scene out of apologising or getting defensive. It is good take a pause, reflect and acknowledge the possibility that marginalised people might be right and that they are not trying to attack or hurt the ally. They should apologise and endeavour to do better next time.

=Benefits of being an ally=

Burgeoning research shows that identifying as an ally comes with certain psychological benefits. A study led by psychologist Sharon Rostosky of the University of Kentucky sought to better understand the positive aspects of being a straight ally to the LGBT community. They conducted open-ended interviews with adults aged 18 years and older who identified as LGBT allies about their experiences. Upon analysing the data, Rostosky and her team found eight reasons why being an ally was positive for those who embraced this role.

Increased knowledge and awareness
Participants reported that they gained greater knowledge, experiences and awareness from being an ally. One participant said that it helped with perspective-taking and empathy. Having LGBT friends raised her awareness of some of the challenges they encounter and had thus made her think more critically about politics and culture. The expanded knowledge and awareness gained from being a straight ally was of particular importance to study participants. In particular, they felt that it increased their understanding of their own sexuality, as well as privilege and oppression as it pertained to the LGBT community and beyond.

Upholding values of justice
Participants felt that being an ally meant that they were living their lives in keeping with their values of justice, morality, and equality. One participant noted that the advantage of being an ally was that she could live her life normally without suffering from the cognitive dissonance associated with many negative viewpoints. Taking a positive view of everyone allowed her to flourish and grow, and fostered spiritual and personal development in the community. Other participants also felt that their role as an ally facilitated personal growth, as they gained greater knowledge and self-awareness that encouraged further exploration of their values.

Benefitting individual relationships
Giving and receiving support as a straight ally was also important to the participants. They described their relationships with LGBT people as enriching and satisfying. For instance, one participant felt that being an ally was something that was important in opening her to other people's lifestyles and ideas about life and what they did in their community both in their town and across the nation. She came from a small town that was very religious and conservative, especially when it came to the LGBT community. She only had one friend growing up who identified as such, and it was something he kept well under wraps in order to avoid familial consequences and trouble in school. She supported him when he did finally come out to his family, and while she could understand their hurt, she was more proud to be a part of helping her friend realise himself and start living as he felt most comfortable.

Community belonging
Through being allies, participants were able to become part of a new community. They grew their social network and felt that they were more deeply connected to people who shared their political and social values. Participants' sense of belonging to the LGBT community ran deep.

Educating others
Straight allies felt that educating others about LGBT and minority issues was a positive component in their experience. They described feeling gratified in their roles as champions of the LGBT community, and teachers of other straight people who were less involved. One participant said that one of the positive things about being an ally was that she had the opportunity to serve as an advocate to other higher education professionals about the needs and ways to support the LGBT population. Through being an ally, she had been able to serve as a voice of reason when speaking to other administrators about how to support LGBT individuals and by helping to consult on how to build a more inclusive community.

Being a role model
Participants reported that being a positive role model for children and adults alike was important in being a straight ally. One participant believed the positive thing about being an ally was that it taught her children that people were people and one treated them how one would like to be treated, no matter who they were, what they looked like. Serving as role models for others and leveraging their voices and perspectives in ways that supported the LGBT community was especially satisfying for study participants.

Using social privilege
Allies described that using their heterosexual privilege in positive ways was both rewarding and responsible. They connected with the importance of making the lives of LGBT people better. One participant said that being an ally was extremely important to her and she felt that it was her obligation as a person in the majority to stand up for those that were not being treated equally.

Speaking out and taking a stand
Participants believed that being an ally activist, that is, by speaking out and taking a stand, was extremely beneficial. By doing so, they fortified their feelings of empowerment and efficacy, and it gave them a sense of pride. A male participant pointed out that when a college student, particularly of the majority race such as himself, sees him standing up and questioning the student's homophobic language or actions, then the message is sent very clearly that that is not to be tolerated. He hoped that if his actions as an ally changed the actions of those who were not supportive of LGBT people, even if those of only one person, he would have made the world a better place for his LGBT brothers and sisters, and the latter should be afforded the same privileges that he had.

=See also=
 * Singapore LGBT personalities
 * Homosexuality in Singapore

=References=

=Acknowledgements=

This article was written by Roy Tan.